Decisions, decisions.

While deciding whether or not I wanted to give up my entire summer to work at a Christian summer camp, I had reached out to several family members and close friends asking their opinions and thoughts. Overwhelmingly, I would say, the response was that I should take the risk and go. I had reconciled my fears with this decision and even directly told several of my friends, "if they offer me the job, I'm going, no matter how scary it is." As I am somewhat infamous for my inability to hold a decision, I also told each not to let me change my mind. Well, yesterday when I was officially offered the position of overnight camp counselor, I turned it down.

Why?, you might ask. Well, the only thing I had planned for the summer was refereeing soccer for the local youth league. I had committed to reffing a ton of games this summer, and as a high-level official, it would be nearly impossible for my reffing coordinator to find enough subs to cover the 23 games I have left. Additionally, as many of those close to me know, I value promises and commitments very highly. While I hadn't promised the league anything, I had made a commitment to them and felt very uneasy about breaking this commitment. In my mind, this was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. Because I aim to act as Christ wants me to, I recognized that I had a responsibility to honor commitments I made first. At the same time, however, I thought God wanted me to give my summer to him through working at the summer camp. After much prayer, deliberation, and frustration, I decided to turn down the position.

My crazy broski - whom I'll be able to spend more time with this summer!
(and my mom peeking up in the corner)

As a whole, this decision reflects my greater philosophy: as a Christian, I am called to serve God. While giving up my control to him and letting him direct my time is crucial, doing so is meaningless unless we strive to make our everyday actions reflect Christ's love. While going to the camp would have been of direct service to God, breaking previous commitments would not reflect my hope to live a life as Christ did.

As I hung up the phone after declining the offer, I admit I was still torn - unsure if I had made the right decision. I can say, however, that, after I receiving two different emails within an hour of this decision about potential summer internships around the area, I know in my heart God commended me for my decision. Once again, I am still learning about letting go of my own plans for the summer and giving control to God. Just when I thought I knew what was right for me, He showed me that His plan is far larger and greater than anything I could come up with on my own.

Finally, as one of my close friends told me while I was deciding, "Whatever decision you make will be the right one. Trust in God, and you'll choose the right one." She's right, so if you're facing a difficult choice, be confident that through prayer, you are sure to choose correctly!

-Theresa