Go Badgers!

Two of my friends and I cheering on
 the Badgers at their home opener

Two football games in, and we've outscored our opponents 93-0. What a start! Because I was lucky enough to get season tickets this year, I've been to both games (which were very very hot). It's always electrifying to be in Camp Randall on game day, and these days were no different. The singing of Varsity at the beginning and end of the game is always enough to give me chills.

Hanging out at the Union

Unfortunately, however, I've had a bit of a rough start otherwise. I've had good moments, and made good memories, but I feel like I just have this curtain of doubt and unhappiness that I keep falling back on. I'm struggling with my faith and with my friendships and overall trust - in God, in my friends and in myself. I'm very seriously doubting my ability to lead a Bible Study this year, as I'm already finding myself dreading all things involved with that commitment.

Last night, I was talking to a close friend of mine about all of this - something I find incredibly difficult. It's hard for me to acknowledge my struggles and talk openly about things I'm having a difficult time with. I feel like I am a burden to my friends and that I'm relying on them to fix problems that are not at all their responsibility or obligation to deal with. Of course, they claim that it's not a problem, but I can't help but feel guilty.

I'm doubting my faith, something I've never really dealt with before, and because so many people see me as being so confident in Christ, I'm not sure who to turn to. Tomorrow afternoon I'll meet with my co-leader for bible study, and I'm praying for the courage, strength, and honesty to tell her all of this, but I'm just not sure that I can. If any or all of you could say a prayer for me, I'd appreciate it greatly. I know that God allows us to struggle in our lives and it can help us to grow, but right now I'm just feeling like I'm suffocating.

Classes have started, work has started, I'm pushing away my friends, and I'm doubting my faith. Things are crashing in on me, and I'm struggling for the strength to keep moving forward. I need to cling fast to my life motto - "Life goes on."

I'm thankful for supportive friends and family and all of the blessings I've been given in my life - I pray that you are feeling loved and blessed in your own life, too!